Sometimes life has a funny way of giving you just what you need just when you need it, even if you’re too caught up with the day to day to even realize that it’s been missing. These were the thoughts on my mind as I slipped between the warm sheets on a cold winter’s night. I hadn’t realized just how much I had missed not only the intimacy but the excitement of finding a person that you connect with and the way that your body instinctively reacts. We hadn’t known each other long yet on some level we seemed to recognize each other. There was something there and it was something that neither of us seemed willing to ignore. We had spent hours together, both ignoring our individual responsibilities, so that we could talk and explore things further. Now, night had come and it was just me alone in bed with my thoughts.
It didn’t take long for my thoughts to turn to that first sweet kiss that we had shared. It was teasing. It was light, but it spoke of the possibility and promise of so much more. It was that promise that had my hands sliding slowly over my warm skin. I couldn’t help but wonder if it would feel as natural as things did now. Somehow, I felt it would. There was something there, something just waiting to be discovered and not only enjoyed, but appreciated.
It was on that thought that my eyes slid closed, not to sleep but to enjoy the fantasy..the fantasy of him, the fantasy of us. I wondered if he knew how already he affected me, how I had been on edge multiple times that day with a desire to reach out and touch him and to have him touch me. It would start with soft little caresses, the kind that those exploring boundaries would share; a brush of the hand against a thigh or fingers against the chest. When those weren’t put off, it would advance to more bold moves..my hand resting on his thigh, him playing with my fingers, both of us knowing what we wanted, but willing to enjoy the dance.
Already, just thinking about this, my breathing deepened and my hands started a slow exploration of my body, slowly caressing it, my fingers becoming more bold as I imagined his would. Perhaps time would be lost to us as we moved from one stage to the next, eagerly learning each other’s bodies as well as our desires.
There is something magical about that first time with another person, with the right person. Just thinking about it, I could feel that magic coursing through my veins as my hands slid first over my chest, pausing to tease and to torment before sliding down over my soft skin. I whimpered, the sound loud in the otherwise silent room. I never heard it. I was too caught up. With one hand, I teased and tormented while with the other I soothed and caressed. It was a dangerous game. Too much too fast and it would be over before it started, but I knew my body well. I knew how to take myself higher and higher without setting myself over the edge.
What was it about him that already drove me to places that I very rarely went? Why was I prepared to open my very heart and soul to someone that had just become a part of my life? Honestly, for once in my life, I didn’t care. I only cared that he made me laugh and made me smile. He made me feel beautiful and desirable and now, here I was..his name crossing my parted lips as I drove myself ever closer to that elusive edge.
My whimpers had changed to quiet moans as my body trembled beneath the onslaught of my own fingers. I refused to allow myself to touch the one part of me that desperately wanted it the most. I wanted to stay within the fantasy, to live those first moments for as long as I could. In my own mind, I could see his face, watch his eyes as he parted my thighs and slid between them. It was that amazing moment when two people join together and for that single moment, the world stops.
In reality, it was my own soft, eager fingers that spread my desire dampened lips and slipped inside, moving in such a way that though I was alone, I instinctively bit down on my lip to quiet the sounds that were escaping. Somehow I knew that when that moment came, it wouldn’t be soft and sweet or even hard and fast, it would somehow be inexplicably us. It would be our moment and now, here in the fantasy, that it had arrived, there was no stopping it.
My fingers took on a life of their own, relentlessly pushing me onward as my heart raced and his name flowed past my lips, not smooth and steady but caught up on each whimpering gasp. I could no more stop that than stop my desires to run my fingers over his body, memorizing it with my touch. We had said that we will be whatever we will be but the promise was there and it was on that promise I fell over that mystical edge. It wasn’t sweet or delicate like they portray in the story books. It was hard and fast and left me gasping for air as my body shuddered. It was delicious, sweet relief and it rocked my entire body.
After..after the room stopped spinning and I was able to form coherent thought again, I pulled the covers closer around me and snuggled down against the pillows, already looking forward to the following morning when I would see him again. After years of being careful, maybe it was time for this girl to add a bit of adventure to her life.
Happy Valentine’s to all of the lovers out there, no matter what form that takes. Life is nothing without love and no matter the form that comes in, it is something to be cherished and nurtured. Let love define you, not anyone or anything else. Let love guide your paths through life. Be good to one another. Be good to yourself. You are your most important lover. You are the caretaker of a beautiful soul. Never forget to love yourself. The rest will fall into line when it’s time…and to one of my favorite valentines (for all the world is my valentine since everyone needs love), thank you for already loving me and for bringing me smiles and laughter. I look forward to our adventure, no matter which path it might take.